In the past week, I’ve had quite a few revelations in my life. First and foremost, that I’ve been neglecting the part of myself that I’m working so hard to create into a livelihood. I can’t remember the last time I posted on this site that I created for myself, but once every couple of months just isn’t going to cut it.
I’ve also realized that I need to put in three times the amount of effort that I’ve been putting into my writing and creativity. Just sitting idly by and waiting for the inspiration to hit me isn’t going to make this any easier. In fact, it’s only going to create more strain and conflict both internally and externally.
But I think out of everything that’s been going on through my head, the loudest of the voices has to be the one that’s telling me to stop pretending. Stop pretending that everything is going the way you want it to go. Stop pretending that everything is hunky-doory and your life is golden. Stop pretending that the people who don’t matter do and that the time you waste on them is anything more than that. Wasted Time. You’ve got to come out of that shell, that cocoon that you’ve wrapped yourself so tightly into that you’ve forgotten why you wrapped yourself in it.
To grow. To change. To adapt. To become what it is that you wanted to be and forget all those things that hurt you before. Now you’re stronger, now you’re wiser, and now you are so much more beautiful than all the darkness around you. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten smarter at spotting the emotional scar tissue that was left behind from my childhood. Sure, some of those old wounds open from time to time and I have to stitch myself back together. But, I’ve learned what opens them and I refuse to let myself be hurt any longer by those outside forces. This is my time now, and it does not belong anyone else.
So look, I realize that I’ve gone a little off the rails this time, there’s been a lot going on. But I want to reach out to all of you who have ever felt like you aren’t going down your path or realizing your goals immediately. It’s ok, I promise. At the end of it all, you have yourself and your drive to create whatever life you want, don’t let the negativity bog you down. You’re going to be ok. Just keep telling yourself that, because you will be. I want everyone out there to have an amazing week and to keep your heads up.
You’re going to be ok.